Hello, and welcome
hi there. my name is higgypiggy and this is my blog about loss.
why would i create a blog about loss? well, the catalyst for this blog is that i'm in a volunteer training program for a hopsice group (it doesn't really matter too much which one) and we've been asked to create a project about loss in our lives as part of our training. i have eight weeks in which to create this project.
i'll try to post each day, and i'll try to come up with something original to say on the subject. it's going to be pretty free-form -- sort of an experiment. so, let's see how it goes.
for today's post, i want to just talk about loss in general. m-w.com has several definitions of loss -- i'll probably use several of these over the coming weeks. for today i'll take a look at the first:
1 : DESTRUCTION, RUIN
this is interesting -- i wouldn't have guessed that those would be the primary definitions, although they capture the essence of what i think about loss, i guess. destruction. ruin. like the folks in florida (four hurricanes this season) who are experiencing loss in their homes, their lives, their loved ones.
in my own life, i feel as if i've never really experienced loss. hmmm...not true. there is the loss of my relationship with my mother. that's a horrible loss. and one i'll talk about tomorrow.
daily dharma: I gave up my house and set out into homelessness. I gave up my child, my cattle, and all that I loved. I gave up desire and hate. My ignorance was thrown out. I pulled out craving along with its root. Now I am quenched and still. Sangha, in Susan Murcott's The First Buddhist Women.
why would i create a blog about loss? well, the catalyst for this blog is that i'm in a volunteer training program for a hopsice group (it doesn't really matter too much which one) and we've been asked to create a project about loss in our lives as part of our training. i have eight weeks in which to create this project.
i'll try to post each day, and i'll try to come up with something original to say on the subject. it's going to be pretty free-form -- sort of an experiment. so, let's see how it goes.
for today's post, i want to just talk about loss in general. m-w.com has several definitions of loss -- i'll probably use several of these over the coming weeks. for today i'll take a look at the first:
1 : DESTRUCTION, RUIN
this is interesting -- i wouldn't have guessed that those would be the primary definitions, although they capture the essence of what i think about loss, i guess. destruction. ruin. like the folks in florida (four hurricanes this season) who are experiencing loss in their homes, their lives, their loved ones.
in my own life, i feel as if i've never really experienced loss. hmmm...not true. there is the loss of my relationship with my mother. that's a horrible loss. and one i'll talk about tomorrow.
daily dharma: I gave up my house and set out into homelessness. I gave up my child, my cattle, and all that I loved. I gave up desire and hate. My ignorance was thrown out. I pulled out craving along with its root. Now I am quenched and still. Sangha, in Susan Murcott's The First Buddhist Women.
posted by higgypiggy at 6:27 AM
5 Comments:
One Art
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
-- Elizabeth Bishop
Higgypiggy
Can you feel a sense of loss for something you have never had? I try not to mourn too much the loss of things. For those in Florida, many (I recognize not all) will be better off once they rebuild. They have the insurance, they have FEMA funds. It may take time, but what they rebuild will likely be better than what was there before. Maybe we should also think of the losses just a few hundred miles away from Florida in Haiti. Is it irony that many in Haiti never had much to lose. They don't mourn the lost house, they mourn the only thing valuable to them...their loved ones.
In your quest to understand loss, don't get lost yourself. Good luck.
This is a great idea for a project, though I agree
with one of the comments on the blog--in your quest to
understand loss, don't get lost yourself. Not sure
how that would happen, but speaking from experience I
can say that trying to understand loss can be like
diving into a black hole of unlimited depth, from
which escape is difficult. I hope you never have to
deal with losses greater than what you have already
experienced, but your insight and instincts about the
whole horrible thing with He Who Shall Not Be Named were amazing, accurate and
incredibly helpful. From the receiving end of your
support, I never got the sense that loss was
unfamiliar to you. Maybe what I'm trying to say is
that you are a naturally empathic person with a great
ability to help heal other's wounds. Just keep in
mind that you can't take too much pain onto your own
shoulders when trying to help and understand what
people are feeling.
I equate deep loneliness with loss.
When you feel alone or powerless in something,that's when loss is (feels) the greatest.
You can not have loss without some sense of regret or mourning.
I would almost say you can't have loss without it involving "people" (I put people in quotes, because a pet might also qualify here).
So, losing the communication channel of someone close to you (ie your mother), or maybe the love letter of your husband that died 5 years ago...since these are both tied to people...losing these materials things could be a loss...something you could mourn.
But do we really feel "loss" over things?
If you lose your house, is it the memories of laughter and good times that you are mourning? Or the actual house?
Actually (forgive my write as I think style), I guess you can feel loss over missed opportunities. I can imagine at some age, I might look back at my life and feel a deep sense of loss over not having taken advantage of some talent or ability while I still had it.
Hmm, when I think of loss...somehow I always come back to "regret".
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