park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
when i last blogged i talked a little bit about the relationship between loss and mourning. i think that's what the dictionary definition is missing; loss requires mourning.
for me, loss is somewhat difficult to imagine. real loss is something i've never experienced. i have felt loss, but i've never been close to anyone who has died, for instance. i've never been in a position where i've lost all (or even any significant) wordly possessions that are meaningful to me. i've not yet really even lost my innocence, although i came close. i'm still young enough that i don't feel a loss of youth. but i can imagine things that would create in me a deep sense of loss. i fear these things intensely, but know that they are innevitable. everything is emptiness.
tautoligically, one has to desire a thing to feel it's loss. the noble truths of the buddha teach us that existence is suffering (dukkha), and that desire (tanha) is the root of all suffering. so, then, is the point to cease to desire? and does cessation of desire mean disconnect from other people and from things?
daily dharma: "And how, monks, does a monk abide contemplating the body as body? Here a monk, having gone into the forest, or to the root of a tree, or to an empty place, sits down cross-legged, holding his body erect, having established mindfulness before him. Mindfully he breathes in, mindfully he breathes out. Breathing in a long breath, he knows that he breathes in a long breath, and breathing out a long breath, he knows that he breathes out a long breath. Breathing in a short breath, he knows that he breathes out a short breath. He trains himself, thinking: 'I will breath in, conscious of the whole body.' He trains himself, thinking: 'I will breathe in, calming the whole bodily process.' He trains himself, thinking: 'I will breath out, calming the whole bodily process.' ...And he abides independent, not clinging to anything in the world. And that, monks, is how a monk abides contemplating body as body."
for me, loss is somewhat difficult to imagine. real loss is something i've never experienced. i have felt loss, but i've never been close to anyone who has died, for instance. i've never been in a position where i've lost all (or even any significant) wordly possessions that are meaningful to me. i've not yet really even lost my innocence, although i came close. i'm still young enough that i don't feel a loss of youth. but i can imagine things that would create in me a deep sense of loss. i fear these things intensely, but know that they are innevitable. everything is emptiness.
tautoligically, one has to desire a thing to feel it's loss. the noble truths of the buddha teach us that existence is suffering (dukkha), and that desire (tanha) is the root of all suffering. so, then, is the point to cease to desire? and does cessation of desire mean disconnect from other people and from things?
daily dharma: "And how, monks, does a monk abide contemplating the body as body? Here a monk, having gone into the forest, or to the root of a tree, or to an empty place, sits down cross-legged, holding his body erect, having established mindfulness before him. Mindfully he breathes in, mindfully he breathes out. Breathing in a long breath, he knows that he breathes in a long breath, and breathing out a long breath, he knows that he breathes out a long breath. Breathing in a short breath, he knows that he breathes out a short breath. He trains himself, thinking: 'I will breath in, conscious of the whole body.' He trains himself, thinking: 'I will breathe in, calming the whole bodily process.' He trains himself, thinking: 'I will breath out, calming the whole bodily process.' ...And he abides independent, not clinging to anything in the world. And that, monks, is how a monk abides contemplating body as body."
posted by higgypiggy at 4:48 PM
1 Comments:
regarding the questions you posed (is the point to cease to desire? does cessation of desire mean disconnect from other people and from things?) ... for me, the answer is definitely 'no'. such a disconnect would cause me great loss and suffering rather than saving me from them. it seems to me that the point is not to avoid suffering by avoiding the desire which is its source, but rather to allow oneself to feel the suffering, to embrace it and recognize that suffering is a part of being alive.
certainly while overcome by a loss, i have felt that being so close to someone was too risky because of the pain of not having him or her in my life, but then i realized how enriched my life was because of that connection, the role that person played in my life. the mourning that still accompanies the death of my aunt, for example, is such a small price to pay when compared with the joy and enlightenment that she brought to my life.
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